Groupon Goods: Oddities & Treasures

February 20, 2014

It’s been a while since I’ve browsed the flash deal sites that I used to troll on a daily basis like Groupon, Living Social and Rue La La…. There’s more, but they’re all pretty much the same now anyway right?

Generally I’ve just gotten into the habit of deleting the emails from my inbox without even looking at them. But every once in a while I’ll notice one that sparks my interest and I’ll stop by for a look, then lose myself for an hour. Once of the pages I always seem to land on is the Groupon Goods page. If you hunt you can definitely find some decent deals on products you were probably going to purchase anyways (or not). What use to be a limited qty and selection of items for the day has grown into a vast array of some of the weirdest and most useless items someone could buy… just for the hell of it. Surprising though, there are a few decent items worth purchasing.

The selection below are some of their weirdest, stupidest, and best deals from today… and by today I mean from the first 700 items (I was too lazy to keep going).Groupon1

Body Back Buddy Handheld MassagerI’m pretty sure you shouldn’t use this thing unless you have health insurance. I feel like this just looks like an accident waiting to happen. But great for tall us singles out there?

Night Moves Tease Vibrator: Okay, seriously 1) Why is Groupon selling vibrators? 2) How the hell do they come up with these names? What classifies this a “night moves”? What if you wanted to use it during the day? would the moves not be as good? And I’m pretty sure I don’t want a tease…

Bluetooth SpeakerI’ve actually heard good things about this speaker, it’s currently sitting in my cart on amazon, so, this item: JUSTYNN APPROVED 

Dinamite Metallic LeggingsWow, where to start? 1) the spelling of the name? Yeah… 2) I mean, you’d be easy to find…3) Maybe these would be great for a Halloween costume…

800 Thread Count Egyptian Cotton SheetsI’ve actually bought sheets several times off groupon (becasue good sheets are expensive) and They are two of my favorite pairs of sheets. So, this item: JUSTYNN APPROVED 

LuminAID Lantern I mean, really? WTF is this? Maybe it’d be cool for camping…. Maybe? Idk…

Foot Detox PatchesIf these actually work, then fine, maybe they are worth it. But I’ve never heard of it before and they just look weird.

Animal Shaped LED HeadlightOK, this one just creeps me out. Headlamps— great for some things.. esp camping. THIS headlamp: f*cking creeping coming out of the eyes. This is going to give me nightmares.

Wireless Rocking Rabbit Love RingUhhhh again… why on groupon? How the hell does that thing work? ::tilts head tot he side:: Do people really use this stuff?


NCAA Player Comfy Throw With Sleeves I get the point behind these… I do… but, they make me giggle. And there’s not even an MSU one. Come’on….

Funny St. Patrick’s Day ShirtsLigitmently pissed when I realized the “This is my drinking shirt” was out of stock. Damnit. I want that shirt. JUSTYNN APPROVED

Pet Life BackpackAgain, just weird. I’ve seen hiking pack for dogs for back packing… but literally a small backpack for your dog? Yeah… pass.

Nature Lovin’ Honey Bear LubricantThis is just bad news/ bad incident waiting to happen. I like honey in my tea in the morning and this… yeah, that’d be a mistake.

Custom Wooden Photo Collage BoardConfession- I totally tried doing something like this myself once, and it’s totally hard to transfer photos. SO, to me… this is cool and WORTH IT. JUSTYNN APPROVED

2 Pack Pearl Tubing for Breast PumpAgain… ick. WHY GROUPON WHY? Pretty sure somethings are just not meant to be sold on Groupon…

Memory Card CaseThis actually is something I could use. I have so many random cards out there it’d be nice to keep them 1) in a case and 2) all together… you know.. so I know where they are and shit. JUSTYNN APPROVED

Collapsible Drinks Cooler with Stand and Carrying CaseOpening day is coming up and I cant even begin to tell you how stoked I am for tailgating and going to my VERY FIRST opening day game…. ON MY BIRTHDAY. Right? Like a gift from the heavens. This sounds like it’d be prefect for tailgating. Bending down for a beer it much harder to do once your intoxication level hits “baseball status”. JUSTYNN APPROVED 

Personalized Stamper I’m lazy and hate writing out my return address on things. I actually have the argument in my head before mailing, if it worth having the item returned if it doesn’t make it to the recipient. Most of the time it isn’t. This is pretty cool though. JUSTYNN APPROVED

This Savy little saver is OUT,