May 31, 2013

Hey there, remember me? The blogger whole randomly stopped blogging for a week unintentionally? Sorry about that. This last week has been kinda… random for lack of a better word, and events that took place took me away from my laptop/ the internet and the blogging world altogether. (I didn’t even read other blogs!) Not to mention that when I finally DID get home and around all that blogging stuff, all I wanted to do was lay down and read. So I did. And now I feel like I can share what was going on…

Last week the bf’s grandmother passed. It wasn’t a shock, but still something that kinda shakes up your lives a bit. Because of the holiday weekend the funeral was moved to this week. The funeral was really beautiful, and the weather decided to cooperate (it was touch and go for a little bit) and I got to meet some of his family for the first time which was nice. The downside to all this? It kinda brought back some well buried memories of my own grandparents funerals. Since I wasn’t blogging then you don’t really know the story but here’s a short version:

A few years ago my grandparents (that I was super close to) on my mother’s side both passed away within a few months of each other. My grandmother had been ill for a while and was actually just starting to turn around for the better when we found out my grandfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer. At his age he wasn’t willing to go through the treatment and was starting to lose weight and take a turn for the worse. It was a really sad and hard time for not only my mother but her whole family and I spent a majority of my weekends driving to see them. One morning I received a phone call from my mom saying that my grandmother was in the hospital with an infection and that she was unresponsive. This was a huge flip for me because the weeks before I was preparing for something to happen with my grandfather, not her and I was less prepared. I drove up to the hospital and spent the day there talking to her even though she didn’t respond and just kinda being there. A day or so later the kids (my mother and her siblings) got together and decided to pull the plug basically. My grandmother had a DNR and was basically only around because the machines where breathing for her. It was pretty rough, telling someone goodbye. I don’t really even know if she was “there” to hear me. What was even harder was watching my grandfather tell the love of his life goodbye.


Sorry the image is blurry, it was the only photo I had on me while writing this…

:: sigh :: pause to wipe the tears…

After the funeral my family spent a lot of time going back and forth to visit my grandfather constantly. My grandparents were the couple that most people aspire to be. They truly loved each other. I would remember staying at their house while my mom was out of town for work and when my grandmother went to be she would kiss my grandpa on the top of his balding head three times. I think my family knew as much as I did that he wouldn’t last long after she passed. He stopped eating, ended up back in the hospital several times and pretty much just lost the will to be around. A few months after her passing my grandfather passed as well. The funeral felt so familiar, it was like deja vu. That was a pretty rough time for me. I think the things I miss the most is not being able to just call them up or hear their voices. I used to tease my grandfather about his thinning hair and I miss the card games. My grandpa taught me to fish, and my grandma taught me to bake. I miss the Vernors in the garage, the iris garden, the basement pool table and endless amounts of hugs/ kisses and love.

I’m lucky to still have one remaining grandfather left in my family. And although he is also growing older, and cant remember who I am at times, spending time with him and being able to make him smile and laugh are going to be memories I cherish after he passes.

So, after these thoughts I leave you with this. Keep your family close, tell them you love them. Because after they pass, the hard part is not being able to tell them anymore.

Blog Signature


3 responses to Thoughts


    You are my beautiful child and I love you. You made me cry, good tears.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. Grandmothers China Up-Cycled | Teedipity - June 5, 2013

    […] Thoughts ( […]

  2. Sunday’s Sashay – allaboutlemon-All Around, In, And Out Of My Own Universe - December 22, 2013

    […] Thoughts ( […]